Thankful.

I love Thanksgiving.  Good food, time with family, and giving thanks- plus it means the official kickoff of Christmas in our house.  All things that I can’t get enough of.

I always have so much to be thankful for.  But, this year I can’t sit and think all those things without sobbing.  I’m not even sure that I’m ready to write about it, to be honest.  My brother in law is alive and all my children are home.  Those two things alone push my thankfulness to its limit.

This day last year I stopped by the NICU to drop off a gift to show my thanks to all the wonderful doctors and nurses who were caring for my babies.  We had hoped to have Ellie home by Thanksgiving, but that didn’t happen.  I was excited to see my extended family, but it just felt weird to gather with the ones I loved when half my family was in the hospital.  I desperately wanted them home with me.

This year the hospital is housing my sister and brother in law for Thanksgiving.  Today had the same emptiness about it, but also an extra measure of hope.  My sister and her husband have already been through a lot in their first year of marriage.  Last August, she was in a terrible car accident the day after they got back from their honeymoon.  She had to be taken care of for weeks at home because she was on brain rest.  While they should have been blissfully adjusting to their new life together, Josh was thrown into caring for his wife and stepson, Eli.  He was awesome.  He stepped up and took care of his family.  I was (and am) so proud to call him my brother.  A year later, Maria still deals with some physical effects of her accident (headaches, back pain, increased risk for blood clots) but she is back to living a full life.  They are expecting their first child together in April.

Then, this past Friday, Josh was in a terrible accident on the job.  His business partner rushed him to the hospital that was 5 minutes from where they were working.  John’s quick thinking and clear judgement saved my brother in law’s life.  Josh was rushed into emergency brain surgery.  He suffered a severe brain injury and his skull was absolutely shattered in the front.  The surgeon told us that he didn’t see patients with this type of injury survive. I will never forget that moment.  Our family has been through quite a bit in this past year or so, but I have never experienced despair like that.  With our other hardships there were always several steps between the person I love and death.  This time death was staring us right in the face.  My sister melted into my arms and everyone was sobbing.  A few minutes later, we were on our faces on the waiting room floor pleading with God to spare this man we all love.  It was raw.

My sister was broken- I had no idea how to help her.  She was shaking a screaming and just trying to come to grips with what could happen.  I just prayed and prayed and prayed- healing for Josh, protection, peace and strength for my sister and her baby.  Matt and I took her upstairs to see if she could see Josh yet.  And I have to tell you, once my sister saw her husband, a switch flipped.   She stepped right in and became the rock Josh needed to pull though.  She was right beside him- encouraging him and advocating for him.  Watching her, I knew God had created her for such a time as this.  All that she is (nurturing, spunky, unafraid to speak her mind, determined, and full of faith) was/is needed for this journey.

The next 24 hours we were all holding our breath.  We camped in the waiting room with other members of Josh’s family and his close friends.  I can honestly say after that weekend that I love those people.  There is something about walking in the valley of the shadow of death that bonds people together.  We were praying for and believing the best together.  And God gave us the miracle we asked for!

The more time goes by and we learn more about how grave the situation really was- the more I am in awe of the power of prayer and the mercy of God.  The whole hospital was buzzing about Josh making it through the night.  And he didn’t stop there.  He made it out of the danger zone for fatal brain swelling and he has completed every task they have set in front of him.  The man that doctors didn’t expect to live may stand up (for a few seconds) by the end of this week!  He is opening his eyes and putting his hands up to feel the baby growing in my sister’s belly.  He even wrote some words on paper last night.  Josh is one heck of a man!  I still cannot believe how he is defying the odds and exhibiting God’s power.

There have been so many victories.  So many poignant moments between my sister and her husband.  But, the road ahead of Josh is long.  We still don’t know how his brain injury will affect him in the long term. He will have to undergo extensive physical and speech therapy to reteach his brain.  It will be long months, maybe even years of hard work for him.  He is a fighter- no one doubts that!  But their little family will need our prayers and support for a while.

This year, all my kids were home for Thanksgiving.  Walking and crawling everywhere and gobbling up Thanksgiving goodies.  Next year, Josh and Maria will be home for Thanksgiving and we’ll be snuggling their little one (which will probably be good therapy for me with four 2 yr olds!).  We’ll reflect on this time and remember God’s faithfulness through our many trials.  Looking around at how far my babies have come and the miracles that God has worked as a result of your prayers for them is humbling.  My family has been on the receiving end of such miraculous love both then and now.  We hope to spend more time on the giving end here soon 🙂

Thank you to our friends who watched our kiddos so Matt and I could be at the hospital last weekend. Thank you to everyone who has been praying for Josh and Maria.  Thank you to everyone who has donated to their gofundme campaign- we’ve raised $16,700 in 4 days!!!  THAT.IS.AWESOME!  Let’s keep that up.  You have all been instrumental in encouraging Maria, Josh, and their families.

We all have so much to be thankful for- take a minute and hug the ones you love.